How to Deal with a Difficult Sponsor
Project managers have to be well-versed in dealing with people. And, since we spend so much of our careers working with others, the odds practically dictate that we will have encountered a difficult stakeholder on one of our projects. With the increasing prevalence of artificial intelligence in project management, emotional intelligence may be the skill that separates us project managers from the machines. But, if the stakeholder problem child is the one leading your project, it requires even greater skill to work with them constructively. How do you deal with a difficult project sponsor?
Get to know them. They are a person, just like everyone else. When I begin working with someone new, I typically set up a time for us to get to know each other as humans, as I like to call it. It’s an introductory conversation, preferably in an informal setting (like over coffee or tea), where we talk about our backgrounds, working styles, and our motivations for the project. For this initial conversation, try to keep work stuff to a minimum. In my experience, once you know more about each other as people, it becomes a little bit easier to understand where that person is coming from when they hit you up for an annoying request. You’ve created some social capital in 30 minutes that it would have taken months talking about project stuff to create.
What if an introduction is impractical? A busy executive may not necessarily have time for a meeting like this. Or, you may have worked with them for a while, so doing something like this now would feel forced. In that case, you could schedule a (virtual) check-in to assess ways of working and provide feedback. I’ve developed a “user’s manual” that orients people to my personality type and preferred communication style. Depending on the sponsor’s personality type, sending something like this may be an effective strategy for improving your working relationship.
Isolate them from the herd. So, you’ve had the introductory meeting and given the feedback that their behavior is slowing down the project trajectory. Most people will pledge to do better when confronted. Few are able to change their stripes, especially if they are a project sponsor that is relatively seasoned in their career (and is used to getting their own way.) In this situation, if the sponsor continues to engage in damaging behavior even after you’ve talked, guess what? You have to talk to them. Again. And provide specific examples to prove your point. That being said, if they are not receptive to feedback and/or nothing is changing, I like to employ isolation tactics. This means treating them like the special individual you know they are. You should prioritize the stakeholders, like your sponsor, that deserve your attention, and let the others slide a little bit.
Trick AND treat. Related to the isolation tactic, if your attempts at conversion are failing, and you’re prioritizing the sponsor relative to your other stakeholders, it’s time to add a few little tricks to your special treatment. A fellow PM recently suggested befriending the sponsor’s executive assistant, getting a copy of their schedule for the week, and then strategically scheduling meetings around the sponsor’s availability. This might mean scheduling competing meetings at a time when the sponsor is also booked, to prevent derailments. Another trick is to find someone who’s worked well with that sponsor in the past (if that person exists), befriend them, and learn the trade secrets. The bottom line is that you need to build trust with your sponsor so they let you do the job you were hired to do. You can blame that person all you want, but you are the one who has to make it work. This requires employing a little creativity. Let me know your suggestions in the comments!
